The Path to Full Recovery and Joy
By Shari Schreiber,
wrote this because so many people who phoned me, wanted to know
how my methods were different from traditional sorts
of therapies they've tried. As my practice grew too busy to respond
to those queries, this piece was created to provide illumination.
want happiness, but have no sense of how to acquire it.
Integrated Recovery isn't for someone looking for a quick-fix.
It's for those of you who've tried just about everything else,
and are willing to explore the courageous work you'll need to
get well, whole and genuinely happy. I'm not describing those
delightful episodes that come with finding romance, or purchasing
a new car or house. I'm talking about an ongoing feeling inside
you, that's tranquil and joyful.
am not a psychologist, nor am I in the psychotherapy business.
My work does not concern itself with your mind.
You may derive as much information as you wish from my online
articles~ but if you engage my services, our work will not help
you "gain insight" about your pain. It merely helps
you stop fearing it and engaging in self-destructive acts that
have historically helped you avoid or distract from it, and kept
my view, all obstacles we face are due to poor self-worth. This
is what influences how we relate to and take care of ourselves
within personal and professional relationships. If we regard self-worth
as the hub of your wagon wheel, any damage to it means
that all spokes which emanate from that point will be weak, and
susceptible to breaking under any type of strain or pressure.
of poor self-worth:
in a job or career you don't like. Staying in an undersatisfying
or abusive relationship. Feeling afraid to raise fees in your
business. Fear of what people may think of you. Feelings of unlovability
and unworthiness. People Pleasing. Ongoing struggles with money
and/or finances. Never feeling at ease in social situations. Fear
of success, love, riches, joy, and having what you really want.
Fear of confrontation, or initiating difficult conversations about
your needs or feelings. Belief that it's not okay to even have
needs. The list is practically endless.
helps you accomplish only two things: I help you build
self-esteem, and I teach you to how to feel and tolerate difficult
emotions in your body, rather than analyzing
or over-thinking them in your head.
might go to a gym to strengthen and develop your physical muscles~
but has anyone ever taught you how to build powerful emotional
muscles? This is the crux of our work.
Wellness is our goal, and incremental gains are what you should
expect from weekly sessions which include interim care. Getting
healthy requires your determined and focused effort, but the rewards
to you may well exceed what you've ever dreamed was possible.
became an Ordained Minister, as it seemed a more congruent fit
for the type of assistance I offer. I always sensed there might
be quicker, more effective ways to help people who couldn't find
relief using conventional therapies, and who slipped through the
cracks. I have given my focus solely to inventing and
developing unique, groundbreaking methods which are intended to
facilitate your capacity to accept inner peace, contentment
is not designed to be long-term care. It is a growth-oriented
modality that aims to resurrect self-worth and help you become
whole and happy within 18 months or less. Some clients may require
more time, but I work as rapidly as I can with every individual,
to bring about relief and personal expansion.
Recovery provides concrete tools specifically designed to dismantle
and eliminate the 'negative tape' that plays 24/7, which constantly
asserts; "I'm a fuck-up, I'm not good enough or lovable."
You're relentlessly hard on yourself, which causes
you to choose lovers or friends who echo exactly how
you really feel about you!
gives me greater glee, than witnessing a client's total transformation.
It is truly a metamorphosis, like the caterpillar to butterfly
transition. If I couldn't help bring this about, I'd have found
a different profession a long time ago. I'm very selective about
who I accept into my practice, for some people actually resist
getting well, and my time is too precious a commodity to waste.
may not be a suitable candidate for this work, and I may not be
a solid enough fit for you or your personality, temperament and
goals. We'll try to assess this during our initial contact, for
it'll never be my desire nor intention to offer you anything you
can't or won't make good use of. IR's function is to
bring about precisely what its name suggests.
INTEGRATED RECOVERY ISN'T:
is not psychotherapy, which deals with matters
of the mind. My articles may speak to the core
of your anguish and help you gain useful insights about it, but
our actual work is not insight
based~ nor do I wish to intervene with you in this manner, as
it could become too lengthy a process.
doesn't let you retain your comfortable love affair with survival.
It will not permit you to complain about Your Life month after
month (which is incredibly boring) without getting to
the heart of that problem, and resolving
it. This is solution focused work that helps you learn how to
Thrive--not merely survive. Survival
oriented individuals who are addicted to chaos and drama are not
suitable candidates for the work we do here.
might presume that wealth will cure your woes, but it
won't. I've worked with multi-millionaires who have never felt
safe or secure. They've struggled with loneliness and emptiness
just as you have. When you've gotten all the boats, planes and
houses you can own, and they don't eradicate that painful vacuum
inside you, we have a sort of 'existential crisis' on our hands.
concerns pertaining to this issue are developmentally driven.
They're about our need to change or amend what we've been
doing for decades. As we evolve, we can't keep performing the
same tasks year after year, without outgrowing our ability to
be stimulated by them! It's like wearing an old suit that's now
a couple sizes too small. We've made substantial investments in
that wardrobe, but we had different values and priorities
in our twenties and thirties that don't fit with the needs of
our forties, fifties and sixties. When we aren't responsive
to these changes, our passion steadily wanes, and each day requires
great effort (or various
addictions) to help us maintain a sense of vitality or aliveness.
desire for this aliveness can have us choosing high-intensity
relationships with partners who have personality
disorder features. The emotional roller-coaster they keep
us on triggers anguish and anxiety,
which distract from our own feelings of dissatisfaction or emptiness
which may have haunted us for years, but that we've harshly judged
and tried to avoid or outrun through any means possible.
another makes us feel our emotions intensely, whether
those emotions are pleasurable or painful, it's actually grounding
and enlivening to us (dead people can't feel pain). This could
be the reason we've clung to tormenting, toxic relationships long
past their shelf life or our ability to access joy within them.
comes easy. Happiness takes daily, diligent work.
lack of love, abundance and prosperity are just symptoms
of poor self-worth. When our pre-existing foundation is rotted
and crumbling, no structures we try to build on it can remain
intact. The primary goal of healing work is to bring about tangible
and permanent foundational restructuring and change.
is scary for most people, because it threatens long-held stagnancy
that is often mistaken for "safety." You've landed on
this text, because you've bought into some faulty belief
systems, which have kept you 'enrolled' in self-defeating behaviors
and thought patterns. These must be eliminated, so that you can
acquire real happiness, and learn how to maintain it.
you're looking for someone to take your money, and be your sounding
board week to week, you will have to look elsewhere. Integrated
Recovery is not designed to perform
this function for you. IR's central commitment is to help you
acquire wellness in every sense of the word.
INTEGRATED RECOVERY IS:
a holistic or 'whole organism' approach to ending pain, which
centers on your body and spirit. If we are not responsive to these
parts of you, we're missing the boat in context of well-being.
This methodology embraces the principle that you're not just a
brain hooked up to a life-support device. This
isn't psychological intervention or mind work~ it's body-centered
Recovery is antithetical to psychotherapy. It requires that you
learn how to feel emotions in your body, instead of talking
about them and attaching meaning or reasons to them in
your head. That practice is not allowed here.
might consider IR work to be like acupuncture, as compared to
western medicine. Western medicine treats the symptoms
of your discomfort or "dis-ease" to help you feel better~
whereas Chinese medicine targets the cause of
your distress to eradicate it from the body. In a sense, IR's
function is to unblock and heal emotional Qi or 'Chi.'
work reaches beyond mitigating your dissatisfaction or pain. It's
about helping you thrive, rather than
just survive or feel "okay" about your life. If there
isn't enough 'juice' in your daily existence, you might be sleepwalking,
and perhaps we should talk. This is likely contributing to addictive/compulsive
behaviors and poor relationship choices which have brought you
confusion, chaos and pain.
encourages emotional dependency, but only in the beginning stages,
until you can become fully self-reliant. Its primary aim is to
assist you with growing a healthy, emotionally independent, rock-solid
sense of Self.
order for us to accomplish this growth, you'll be given a few
power-tools which help you construct your self-worth foundation
brick by brick, so you can finally climb out of the self-defeating,
deeply-dug trenches that are keeping you disabled.
will deconstruct the negative tape that's been haunting you most
of your life; "I'm not lovable or good enough,"
for recovery is impossible, if you can't or won't learn, integrate
and use tools I give you, that help usher you into authentic wellness.
learn how to confront anyone at anytime about anything, and acquire
verbal tools and communication skills which will give you newfound
confidence in social and professional arenas.
be using effective strategies which help you build a strong and
sturdy personal foundation, and you will come to admire and feel
proud of yourself.
a collaborative effort. You can't get there without
my help, and I can't assist you without your strong desire and
willingness to utilize the guidance and tools I provide that can
bring about self-actualization and joy.
do not heal you! I merely light and guide your path, and give
you powerful self-restructuring tools that teach
you how to heal Yourself. This unique, unconventional approach
helps you build self-respect, healthy entitlement and genuine
you choose not to follow my methods, you'll remain just as you are.
methods are experiential (not cerebral), and individualized
to respond to the needs of each client, but the basic principles
of Integrated Recovery are described below:
- You're taught how to experience, accept, tolerate and endure
dark or painful emotions without fear of annihilation, repercussions,
doubt or self-ridicule. This power tool is essential,
if you've ever wrestled with addictions.
here, you've been thinking your way through life, as
opposed to feeling your way along. As
a result, you don't trust your instincts or intuitions, which
are there to serve and protect you! These extra-sensory aspects
are literally your built-in survival guide, but they can't function
when other feelings like depression or anger, are banished from
you can't trust others, you haven't learned to rely on your innate
instincts to guide your decisions, and you
do not trust yourself. If this
isn't fixed, you'll keep shooting in the dark hoping to hit the
bull's eye, and second-guessing right choices~ especially when
they prompt less than comfortable feelings.
methods focus solely on what you're
feeling, not how you're feeling. This
non-traditional approach helps you connect with facets of your
Self, so you can access life-force within you! In my
view, it's the most important gain you will ever achieve.
your feelings are welcome here. You'll never
be made 'wrong' for them, and I look forward to when you can express
your rage, even at me! You've likely had to censor yourself your
entire life--but we pull out all the stops here.
love working with angry people! Their feelings are closer
to the surface, so they tend to progress faster. In essence, you'll
get to experience being fully You, without getting punished, guilted
or abandoned. Conceptualize that if you will!
- You will receive guidance and support to help you become the
person you've always wanted to be.
restructuring process helps you acquire nourishing, productive,
healthy ways of talking to and treating yourself. This has a positive
influence on every aspect of your existence.
growth is cumulative, but it's seldom linear.
Recovery often feels counterintuitive, as it's a fresh, innovative
approach that you've never been exposed to before. There's a natural
learning curve that comes with trying anything new, so
you might backslide a bit, and that's to be expected. You're in
this work to learn and grow~ not to perform perfectly.
you've enlisted the help of psychotherapy, you might expect that
type of interplay when you begin working with me,
and it may be hard for you not to anticipate
that style of engagement. If I start to sense you can't or won't
make the crucial transition from those more familiar methods to
mine, I'll urge you to seek help from the type of practitioner
who provides it, and we will part.
be learning healthy limits and boundaries here, because if you
already had them, you would not be reading this now. I may be
a bit stern with you occasionally, but it's solely to halt your
self-sabotage, and get you back on course. My only mission
is to help you get stronger, as swiftly as possible.
- I am nothing, if not an educator. This
work is about helping you become empowered. As such,
we help you learn to help yourself. (Give a man a fish, and
he eats for a day. Teach him to fish, and he eats for a lifetime.)
most important and vital relationship you will ever form and maintain
is with You. When you master this, all your relationship choices,
experiences and outcomes become healthy and positive.
- You will start noticing an absence of pain~ and
you'll have to adjust to it. It won't be easy or comfortable
client who is committed to Healing
reaches a fork in this road, which feels uncomfortable for a little
while. This part of recovery can be challenging, because we're
navigating terrain that's feeling foreign, and it takes some getting
used to. Fear not~ we'll be crossing this bridge together, and
I'm just a phone call away, to help it feel a bit less scary.
begin noticing a sense of contentment and peace. You've begun
feeling your emotions, rather than hyper-analyzing them
them out. Being 'alone' isn't triggering dread and fear anymore,
because your friendship with You is growing far more solid, rewarding
and comfortable on many levels.
no longer observing yourself through other's eyes. You've
learned to take only your emotional temperature,
rather than everyone else's! Trying to make sure everyone
likes you (people pleasing), isn't a priority anymore. New
feelings of respecting and liking yourself, are.
won't keep starving and striving for acceptance and approval from
others. You'll have gained the desire and capacity to give it
to yourself--and you'll own
is incrementally acquired. Much quicker would feel too
destabilizing, but 'FREE'
is my acronym for what you will be experiencing, along your way
to it. Integrated Recovery intends to help you make permanent,
irrevocable modifications to your pre-existing paradigm. This
work can bring about dramatic, life-altering change regarding
how you view and relate to yourself.
will evolve into a sentient, self-actualized person, capable of
giving and receiving love and abundance.
You'll be viewing relationships sort of like the frosting on a
well baked cake that's scrumptious when eaten alone~
but is a tad sweeter with some topping.
won't desperately need to be loved. You'll already
know you're lovable, and you will automatically
be making healthier, more gratifying friendship and romantic choices,
that reflect an unshakable, authentic sense of self-worth~
it to say, this is a process. The principles
of Integrated Recovery are simple, as are the tools you'll be
taught~ but the work is hard, only because it reorganizes and
reconfigures what you've always thought was necessary
(like avoiding difficult emotions), to save your own life.
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